31/3/06

work morning, from7.00am till now 8pm sitting at my computer desk... still have 7 days before my rest day... God I need strength..

Morning I work till 5pm then take my lunch... specially thanks for the students that helping me a lot... my real assistance really mad at me that I couldn't initially to do things with her, well I gonna finished my things first... I din even take any break for myself because I in charge everything..I really got a lot of "chores" need to do, my own "chores" gonna to settle first ma... but is good that we talk face to face lar..next time I will try to do lor.. I 'm not a supergirl ..

Sometimes I ask myself can I really do it alone when there is no other hand..can't imagine that..


Today is free Willy hatchday, hope that he stay happy always and be more focus.. dunno y..I feel that I'm happy for him when he found his happiness and I feel sad for him when he was feel sad... because he is different and been change a lot after he know this girl.. a girl that can bright up his world is really means love..I do hope he and she can be together.. they have a same smile :)

Free Willy make me think sometimes, he do have alot of many questions.. haha

Now, I start to think
Wat is Love? Wat kind of love I having now.. confused.. suit and not suit is another problem

without that kind of heart pounding fast ,excited, feel sweet and even feel very happy if the person just sitting beside u without any conversations.. is not a real love

but when grow up one or two years older, thinking love is more than that include if can tolerate each others weakness and differences and go through up and downs? Even one day he or she sick , not pretty not handsome anymore... do u still love ? U still will hold the hand of ur love one when u are 65 years old? I seen it in MRT.. sweet!!

Are u still dare to join love game?
some ppl thinks there is no responsible for it,play play only, try try out
but serious ppl thinking about love will proceed to marriage and future, they will fall badly

True , love or not .. is really easy / hard to know, so complicated

is perfect if a person really follow this and I will definite want to marry to this kind of person


1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient ,love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast,it is not proud.It is not rude, it is not self seeking,it is not easily angered ,it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres

starting to me I also din take this verse seriously, but these words like hammering into my brain
To be a person like that really not easy. The first thing must love God then will become someone like that.

work evening W77

well , a new area.. so class if want me to describe.. but things unorganised because just moved...sis said about hierrachy... and not put invest in things that wouldn't work up one day...This I do agree.. because Actually I 'm really been thinking is that I want in my life....I just dun want to upset her oneday .. cane with Love best to described her.

stay up 12.30pm .. oh no... my mood is very bad ..because come back late again plus was angry with myself and angry with the messages me regards the things that I forget to do.. not enough sleep again.. tomorrow gonna work morning...

PR application day

Woke up early to my working place photostat all the necessary documents to do my PR.. after dragging so long.. finally able to make up this mode... Travelling fees really can cost me a lot... really dun like to walk too much.. but Singapore lifestyle really does need a lot of walking... no choice..


Went up to working place library to do photocopy.. the libarian sure will get to know me one day... haha... very funny... list out all the personal documents like passport all these of things..and i do it one by one.. no joke...

reach ICA around 11.30am gonna make me vommit.. everytime I took a taxi, I'm thinking of vomitting... is the gear I think not smooth enough... still prefer autogear..Met Sok theng at ICA... I always met her somewhere.. She lead me to the church in Singapore at first.. I think she has great impact in mydirection.... Everyone has someone that God send to mould, fix, direct ourselves.. Thanks God that I able to apply after three person before me... I am so blessed.. haha..

after come back rest awhile then went to OPP
Met some ppls that motivated..

Learn a lot of things ... testimonials too...came back home around 12.30pm
Tired and dozz off , only 4 hours plus for resting....before start work...

Tuesday

Morning go to work, climbing down the stair accidently sprain my ankle, haven't start work already injured myself again ,plus stomach ache... feel uncomfortable...

Working, I still slow, go back late... Chun Ying said the ppls are Okay... How come still haven't settle down.. Actually I also not understand... mayb was interupted by the phone calls.. I really hate phone calls.... especially deal with the transfered... answer and asking a lot of questions.. then interpreter, then turning done.. then help to suction , then help to tailed down O2... I gonna be fast.. and I will be fast..

A mistake that I made really let me remember forever... Thanks God

PPA meet with NC , then she said that I'm very soft outsie but very stubborn inside... ya this I agree!!

Stoach ache ..Ouch

Since yesterday , I din slept well... My stomach is aching, at epigastric area.. like turning and twisting and streching, so pain.. wake up at 7pm took the chinese medicine and sleep again... wake up around 10am... the pain is so horrible... on and off... I quickly rush to clinic nearby to see Doctor..

When I try to find the clinic somewhere around Dome , met a cleaner and she said there is no clinic there.. suddenly I feel my vision is blur, nearly black out... this is the second time since the first time which I experienced when I was in Secondary one... My limbs are weak I couldn't walk... First time I feel that I' really weak... I sat aside after take a deep breath, SOS to Ching Kai as he already awake for help, first time I really think that I couldn't walk.. wanna faint...

after awhile, I take a deep prayer, pray awhile then I can able to carry on Journey and called up ching kai asked him no need to come.. Thanks God!!


Called up sister to inform I having one day MC for sick leave... I can't work.. feel weak, stomach ache, urge to vommit..

Managed to finished up half bowl of fish porridge
after taking the pills , I went to sleep.. wake up around 6 plus, still feel dizzy, sy hoi said mayb sleep too much ... haha... ya.. I do agree... I hope so

watch Mr and Mrs Smith while having my dinner... Milo +biscuit.. I have no appetitide.. my stomach still on and off aching, feel a bit worry..
tomorrow gonna work.. so need some rest...

I read Jen's email, is amazing that she did so well in the dance regardless she only slept for 4 hours, God is Great!!

''My Grace is sufficient for you''
Moses though a great servant was not good in speech and was also not a confident person.- Gideon was the weakest in his household and that God was patient with him, Gideon ask for proofs and God was patient and showed him signs ( not only once )


And we all know that they became great servants of God.When we can't God can : )

I feel like the feather, very light, can 't wake up... I can hear the Marching song.... I Heard the praise .. I just no strength to stand up... and feel so comfortable... I see a lot of clouds... I see God carry a baby in his arm... I see a lot of cute cute Kids..surrounding

GOD has mercy, Christ has Mercy, God has mercy on me

Sunday, went up to Wesley Methodist Church, went for 9.30am.. Great !! by Pastor Alvin
Obedience: doing God's will in doing God's way

Deuteronomy 12:13-14 (New International Version)
13 Be careful not to sacrifice your burnt offerings anywhere you please. 14 Offer them only at the place the LORD will choose in one of your tribes, and there observe everything I command you.

2 Chronicles 7:12 (New International Version)
12 the LORD appeared to him at night and said: "I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place for myself as a temple for sacrifices.

For he is good, his steadfast love endure forever

Set our heart (1 Samuel 7 :3)
3 And Samuel said to the whole house of Israel, "If you are returning to the LORD with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the LORD and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.

Well, how I wish Siew Hui and Free willy is here.. Is a good sermon
Plus Dance ministry (My devotion) really fantastic..
The steps are really fast... I understand Jen's hardwork , she is a good teacher!!!
Well the impact of the dance really great... every sisters bring the smile, joy and God's word... I felt LOVED, LOVED by God

Clare sat beside me, she always looked so beautiful...

I sat for the second service at 11.30am.. Siew Hui can't make it.. I understand .. she sleep too late for preparing the necessary thigs, she never break her promise to me...she will try her best to come..that is she..... the sermon by Pastor Alvin let me think, rethink, is it I'm using my own way in Doing things, or I just follow God's way.. the only thing need to know is seek God then we will know... I din press the button that I wish to call free willy because I dunno... am I using my own way or God's way... he din reply me when Sat I msg him ..hmm... then I think put him in my prayer.. I plant the seed , God will do the way..

Met up Kai for lunch , well, she is cute and cute.. I like to talk to her, such a humor person

My third aunt finally come to service with me... Thanks God for the opportunity and the door opened for her.. Thanks God...
She came andGod's power so great.. a lot ppl kena sland... I dare not actually at first, becos I never try and not much faith.. but after that I kena sland.. haha.. praise the Lord... I was annointed with oil by pastor Huang Zhong Qing ( I knew him at first can't recognise him) He also forget me .. I knew him because last time I'm the secretary in Holylight youth fellowship and he is the speaker that we invited..very good speaker...

My aunt she is the one encourage me to go ahead, she din kena sland but She accepted God.. she believe.. Yeah.. I'm Glad.. finally she believe... The ppl there are very friendly, Aunt planning to join the bible study after Ya Lian aunty share with her regards the testimonial that she survived from Lung Cancer for 11 year ... GOD IS HEALER.. AMEN

After that met up with Siew Hui for 5 pm service...
A bit tired ready, din alert enough, saw the peer pastor..

Gotta go back

Saturday, play p. awhile... then whole day catching Japanese drama... too bad unable to catch the last episode... mum cooked the soup.. very delicious... well , is always very sad when I need to go back to Singapore.. I can see how upset was my sis... she put her head down and din want to talk... din cry but tears rolling in her eyes.. me too... no choice... I gotta go back.. how I wish I can stay together with my family... but gotta be independent hor

Me and Siew Hui go back together during night... Thanks God no traffic Jam

24/3/06 Friday

wake up late, then at around 12pm followed my brother down to Imigration place to collect my passport... wait for around two hours again then took a cab to City Square..

reach there then I walk around, bought a pair of white ear rings (big ring), then stick to Popular book shop, Explored the digital cam books..well find it interesting, then feel like trying the adobe photoshop...

Met Siew Hui at City Square , eat yogurt ice cream.. yummy
we watch "My Girl and I" well touching movie...The movie we discussed and come into conclusion that the most sad part is the old uncle had to wrap the bodies of the loved one.... the most upset things that I think is when the girl song hui qiao the last sense that she loss , she can't hear and see her loved one in her own eye when her loved one tried his very best to ask the captain to dry the boat... the most creative part is the girl she plant the seed and wish to go with the boy to see the beautiful flowers for the next year and following year and so on... because she know that the boy will not forget her.....touching

then we go home together, haha first time to My house, very excited and happy that finally she visit my house .. planning to rest , play and enjoy... actually If tonight the fellowship is not cancelled , I can introduce her to my holylight buddies... nvm.. there is always a chance to meet...

My sis too, she is so... happy to see Siew Hui JieJIe :)

23/03/06 Thursday

Thursday, I explored E-bay... have a good rest at home.. tidy up my drawer... playing p... create a piece of art work... chat with wanting, read books again

My head really crushed up, have a terrible headache... then I slept for few hours wake up, my pals, yin came and we went to Jaya Jusco book shop to buy her books regards flowers.. interesting ....I met Mark ge at bookshop ..well really long time din see them..

I really need to take some course again to brush up driving skills after 4 years lost of touch, haiz... So..sad.. even my brother dun feel safe to let me drive ..

Never mind, ... I can do it slowly one by one one day....not only driving, others thing also...

Night time, I played the song "Silent" well ,the feeling is still strong...Remembered last time I 'm not purposely want to choose that song, because there is no other song for duet... I am not happy at all although singing wat fen shou kuai le...the feeling is so hard to bear... singing a song that opposite my feeling............doesn't he understand...

I always think if he really choose that song if is because of me, then I really feel I'm really treasured and I'm touched

I thanks God that we have meet each other... and teach me wat is the exact meaning about devotion.. The centre of my devotion. The dance of "my devotion" I still can't have this opportunity to dance, because I'm still "half way"

Keep on going ... Everyday is a new day..yeah...a day of hope , a day of miracle and a better day...

23/3/06 Thursday

22/3/06 Wednesday

Back to JB again, when to Malaysia Immigration place again, wait for 12 hours to complete my international passport.......................... really.......challenge my patience............poor mum who accompanied me to take the number had to wait with me together..........well, really waste of time... this is the place that I hate to go... because need to wait... today it break my genius record... wait wait for almost 11 to 12 hours....My three meals settled there, thanks God that I brought my Mp3 and a book to read again... if not I can't imagine how I can survive

Reach home is about 7 plus, whole day keep on waiting ppl, I was grumbling the whole day like an old lady... haha.... If u are me...wat will u do.. huh????

night time go back try to have a good rest....

21/3/06 Tuesday

the next day, follow my dad out when he is working, went back to Singapore... gonna do my officaial document things, when to Malaysia Ambassador to do my passport, first went to citylink .. cant find any place to have my breakfast and lunch together with reasonable price... ended up have to eat Kenny Roger alone.. so pathetic.. haha...how come cityhall doesn't has a "not-so-high class "eating place????????then take a cab which cost me 12 dollar to reach the " exact place" at River Valley, who knows after queing up awhile they give me an appointment to go back on 3rd of April... a waste of time.... decide to go back to JB tonight to do my international passport

When to IRAS at novena, settle my TAX document... haiz... queing up again, but thanks God I met a very helpful young guy , very informative and given me a phamplet when I had the enquiries... working must very informative and customer will be pleased... yeah.. is true


When back to bishan , rest for few hours after I bought some books to read, I think I gonna mad soon... read read read.. really dun like reading... sleep awhile then go to DM... share the worship time to a taxi driver as he is curious... Hmm... this time dance practice really bad for me... two weeks didn't practice , no balance, tends to fall , forget the dance steps and try to focus on my purpose of my in dance, not to snap away by the wordly value and people's comments

I think I really need some rest... I'm tired...

20/3/06 Monday

heyo... never been so hardworking, reading about the sucessful entrepreneur story... my eyes really @-@, whole day read read read... bored.. Hate reading words

mum's porridge is the best !!! mushroom, carrot, meat, eggs, "gan bei" also, well end up with supernice porridge... will miss my mum's porridge

My holiday Plan

Plan of holiday

1. Read bible
2. My passport, status
3. cook
4. finished up my immunology book, health book. read up pharmacology a bit
5. touch abit neurology book
6. do a bit exercise, Singa bit, dance a bit , guitar play a bit
7. explore design
8. brush up my driving skill, totally forget everything, umm... is a car has 4 wheel..
9. keep in touch with my friends
10. see whether got chance to explore
11. play with shooting picture..
12. share Gospel with my grandpa and grandmum

19/3/06

Today is Sunday, Went to church with my family..If I'm in Singapore, I surely ask Siew hui, Yu ting, free Willy , Qi Pei and others out to go church together.. well is very fun to have a group of ppl together, seldom meet them only can meet them when I have short break like this...

Today I met my old buddies, Ma Li, Yee An, Pei An, Sin Leong, Kawaii Ee Ling, Jun heng, Jun Xiong, my brothers' gang ++.. long time no see them.. they are always so happy and funky as usual.. heard that Yee will going to Aus soon mayb next year.. so sad.. haiz..after David another one is going overseas too... but I believe friendship last forever..he said that separation is a certainty when we grown up.....really sad mann....hope he can fufilled his dreamz and has catch his princess heart with him too , gonna knock his head If he dare to forget me this buddy..haha..

Read the immunology book till my eye @-@, Pauline ,Jia You Too!!! Is a bit hard for me to do this sort of Job, My friends might misunderstood me and go away, but I will give myself a try for getting to my dream ...and reminded me not to forget God if I want to strike my goal.. He must be the arrow direct the goal... if not I will stray away and forget my real goal

18/3/06 Saturday

Wake up , staring at my whole pile of cloths... gonna have a total washing... I gonna occupied the wash room... the balcony also full of our uniforms and cloths...so messy

after finished washing... oh no.. is late.. quickly take a cab to Kranji Mrt.. My mum called me a few times and I can't reach her too...The Taxi cost me $13, gonna broke... My transportation fees are very high... couldn't wake up too early is one of the reason..

Met up with mum and "little chicken" at Kranji Mrt, is very happy to see her in excitement... many times she asked me to bring her to see Disney On ice.. and finally I fulfilled my promise to her.. wat a satisfactory... we having our lunch at Kopitiam Woodland, really a small world, met a piano teacher, xiao ting , our church member, mum chat with her for a short while..

Finally brought them to Kallang In door stadium, bought a sweet sugar corn and a king crown with two big mickey mouse ear stick on it.. she so... happy .. too bad she can't wear the princess crown as her head is too big and not suit her... ha..she admit it... but sis, dun worry ,when u grow bigger, u will become a graceful lady in future


Actually I thinking Disney on Ice is a very boring show, cos I not really like cartoon actually, I think only for kids... but when the show start, Hmm.. I changed my mind..
Is a romantic , a funny, a skillful show in overall
I like to see all different disney character skiing, like beauty and the beast, cinderella, is a small world ppl, Aladdin, lion king, well is so graceful ... sometimes think that behind of these, the dancer practice so hard that ppl will never know, and their mission is to bring laughter to all the audience... is very meaningful, isn't it... see one day , try to ski and see if I have the chance

My sis has another gift today ,I think she will be top of the world

Sleeping Day

My sleeping day... sleeping pig time... zzzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzz
woke up around 6.30pm.. woke sy hoi and chingkai up also.. so sorry to wake them up also because they just came back not long ago from morning shift and have a short nap

today gonna meet up with my "long time no see " goodfriend ~Yan Xin, we went to Paragon having dinner together after so long.. My first time having meal in Thai Express is with them.. Aiya.. Kelly miss this as not feeling comfortable... hope next time she can join us too....well.. the food there is delicious, tom yum soup is yummy, not too spicy at all
We chat about our recent life ,current plan, future plan...dunno after one year plus ... everything still the same as we plan?? can we fulfilled? Grown up is really wat a headache issue.. so many things to worry.. and invisible burden and responsiblilities to be carry on shoulder that u even dun want to think, just want to close ur eye , close ur ear... but Pauline cannot be kids anymore , An adult need to face reality.. this is adult world

Dunno wat ever I think will it be fulfilled in future... my dreams is big too.. untouchable too... need a lot of effort and $$.. I hope that everyone of my beloved friends and family can be success oneday...
I believe God will guide everyone of us if we willing to let God guide our way through.. the wheel of life

finally third night

Finally is my third night.. so..happy.. still dun think have enough sleep, hope I wun "wayang" at night...tonight, I dealed with a pt .. everything goes smoothly, Thanks God!! Finally I can looking forward to have a peaceful and happy short break.. whooray

Finally I make a short prayer and take courage to speak to sister today regards the tickets,din see her yesterday, heard that she was not in a good mood, she din mentioned about the complaint case that disturbing me for two days .. Thanks God... really (Must fear God instead of fear man)

After spoken to Sister, wat a relieve and starting dwell in holiday moods

my second night

my second night still ok... admit a case with medical case ?GBS nearly to 6am... so rush and gonnna stay back till 8 am.....but very sleepy approach to morning..

drag my body till 2 plus toZzzz,Y? Watch a movie before I sleep, a very nice movie , storyline is about a tennis couple how they try to persue their success.. well , very inspiring...I started to change my mind that tennis is no longer a boring game..

Can't understand y can't I sleep early ???

Start over again

Argh... gonna start over again with a new blog, old one was distorted by the new template... because of this computer idiot wanna change a new look for a personal webpage then the whole things gone.. haiz.. dun care le

Today gonna work night shift.... dun feel like sleeping because wat a waste of time... eat , sleep, work... have to continue like that for three days .. after three days of battle, will lying on bed like a flat pig sleeping whole day...
later gonna buy disney on ice ticket for my lil sis, and my family, Sy hoi, chingkai, David will join in too.. well that will be very fun huh... planning to have ice-cream later... yummy .. can't wait for that..

yesterday , incident still spinning in my head, headache.. being scolded by the SSN so badly even make a complaint to my NC through her NC. A lesson that I learnt, never trust anyone , everything u do , u check , u pass... never expect ppl will inform u .. this is the rule of game..secondly, well prepared to go to that ward, maintain standard,do properly, thirdly... never offended people like that, wat a backstab.. not friendly at all..

I pray to God that well help me to forget this incident although, the humilitation of words keep on spinning in my head which was so harmful that will brought down my self esteem and confident again.. ya another devil plot which want to strikedown my purpose in Nursing and self esteem and confident again... God will defeat them.. ..
And Lord , I need to learn not fear man than fear God and speak the truth

At this point of time, thanks God that I have my colleagues, chua,luan,w.hong, yting, kong, their encouragement and share with me their previous experience and thanks God that I work afternoon