11/4/06

This is my second night..I left one pt and that one passed away... life is fragile... so fragile... never expect him to go so suddenly... VT to PEA to Asystoly....witnessed wat is the last breath and struggle before he passed away.. from no response to limbs till the last struggle of moving of limbs.. opening eyes suddenly... then soon he went........

I was freak out... my colleagues too.. kenan, melanie who help me and witness everything when I call DC for help.. and wee hg...

Wrote report with my hands tremble, I feel cold... never see such things even that my friends said they seldom see the last struggle that so obvious....

suddenly I afraid of death...Is it death is like that....I dun want to die before I already prepared to see God... a lotsa things haven do... havent read the bible.. haven do things for God.. havent strike my goals , havent enjoy and spent with my love ones..

This is where I learnt last office, the procedure..
But the questions is we do not know our timing, so must live everyday meaningfully