21/5/06 Sunday

Wake up from a nightmare......a subconscious of thinking which kept in me make me fear .. like a touch light shine upon the hidden area I felt ya I'm a sinner and felt shameful...

Actually felt hurt when heard that all along I 've been treated the friend like respected senior did talk behind me last time , a feeling of betrayal....... but somehow I know the character is like that .. but dunno y I still feel hurt... am I too sensitive in ppl's said ... i encounter few times of this kind of hurt.. lead to a bit of distrust on people even friends sometimes although I know not suppose to but I can't help it .. because I hurt not only once ... I'm not sure how to face the senior again as I know... but just pray that I can forgive

I thankful to God that I'm having buddies can point up my mistake, my blindspot, talk straight open and din hide and give advice , well, these are friends that built and true

I learnt :
I think too simple, not sensitive enough to ppl and environment changes
when ppl dun say it doesn't mean they dun mind
Speak out u mind and ur opinion too regardless how ppl think or disagree
Dun be heckcare, be more proactive , not passive , dun slack and Lazy
Listening, Be more receptive and willing to change as I'm stubborn stone
Is not stop at one stage but still need to explore in further if want to hit the goal
Be sensitive, Be sensitive and more alert of ppl's mean

try to but can't admit I am "blunt"and heckcare, better talk to me straight if not happy, welcome