23/5/06 soaring like an eagle

Today work in RM1-8 as a junior, din talk much , I felt environment a bit tense.. three person plus me... thanks God for Reeney , my pal and my good partner, always lending hands to me, such a good girl... I think my seniors are not really talk much because dun think they like me.. I dun like this kind of feeling... miserable.. I can't please everyone indeed....because this is me, I got a strong stubborn character , pray to God and try to change....

huhz..this is one of the environmental factor discourage me.. I feel like uncomfortable that can't talk like friend.. good is Chunying gave me a souvenir when she came back from her hometown .. phone pouch, I was so touch .. at least I was remembered since she went back home for a month.. really touching.. she feel uncomfortable today.. hope she is fine

kena yield by M , upset that my assuming brought to a waste of suction container, wasting ?lie,
try to give excuse to cover up so that she won't scold me further , a protection of myself , I feel upset with it bcause she is just yield like that in front of so many ppl, all my senior , I dunno wat she want to bring me down or wat... is not the first time, discouragment words also heard before...hello u can talk nicely to me , I'm not ur maid..I was angry and take out the thing from trash and want to put back to original position, Chua stopped me, because things done unable to rewind back... and it is dirty... "if u further question me, I also cannot do anything"..I din talk to her after that , pray in my heart to calm myself and ask for forgiveness for giving excuse to get away the scolding...

Reflection done and realise actually she mean good to me too, point out mistake, only thing is the way she express out is not right.. But in my mind I prefer to "prevent before than cure"..

My heart is full of bitterness, and I cannot forgive myself as giving myself such a stupid excuse just want to escape from all the scolding and question.. ask from forgiveness as I pray after I finished my work and took a cab went home.. I am tired ( physically and mentally)

went home take a nap try not to think the matter anymore and take cab again to dance practice today, I feel fresh and not so tired, Jen always a smilley and joyful, cheerful face welcomes us..
practice ...hope our everything can glorify God, Praise the Lord, yen Teng also print for me the registration form tomorrow for bible study together of 16 ppl in our gang . I can't wait for that .. full of excitement,

Des, hope she is fine too as the leg swelling , But God is the healer, she definitely get healed, her faith , trust , obedience in Lord is wat I wish to learnt from... she really like a booster , she go through the things and the decision that so difficult to made , and I failed to made........She love God. Gift of God is amazing!!!!Eveyone has the gift of God, Jen I see a teacher in her, she understand and sensitive to needs, a good observant, a good leader and yenteng is a graceful swan if let me describe her and an inteligent owl.....and others in myself somehow I can see their various gift of God..

We dance is not by our own strength or own will but is by his grace and resurrection of power.

I told Winnie, When we dancing with fan, I feel like soaring like an eagle , there is wind....felt
and this song touch..


Call On Jesus
by Mullen Nicole C.


I'm so very ordinary
Nothing special on my own
I have never walked on water
I have never calmed a storm
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark

But when I call on Jesus
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall'
Cause He'll move heaven and earth
to come rescue me when I call

Weary brother Broken daughter
Widowed, widowed lover
You're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on

When you call on Jesus
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When you call on Jesus
Mountains are 'gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth
to come and rescue you when you call

Call him in the mornin'
In the afternoon time
Late in the evenin'
He'll be there

When your heart is broken
And you feel discouraged
You can just remember that
He said
He'll be there

When I call on Jesus
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth
to come rescue me when I call