Tuesday , jia you

Today wat I learnt from "broken heart " mean total dependent in God 's will and doing God's way... broken heart is not pointing crushed when bad circumstances is meants obedience

make it to sand or stone, all is your choice...



I do miss him alot alot really a lot ,...I seldom say because of my pride last time.. both of us really have pride, da nan ren, da nu ren.....well is a real regonition of true feeling of inner self,
The problem is I cannot miss him anymore, I cannot love him anymore ..I really struggled a lot a many many times because we believe and treat things different way....unless wat we believe and our direction are the same... Just let God lead...I feel that these challenges are brought him near to God and God want to speak to him.. pls keep in the heart

Although sometimes I feel he doesn't need me anymore as he already has somebody can talk to... at least now he had buddies... at least he really did love again after the bad fall that I know when I know him....Thinking back he is shy and hate camera I still remembered the time...he really hate shooting picture I still dunno why......but now he indeed changed a lot...some people will make changes in ones life but too bad I am not the one....he is not so introvert and he is really more hot cake since last time till now..

For me, He is my first .. it takes me from almost four years.. I still unable to get over him... I told myself before I gonna treat him my very best as he is the first and only one.. sad to say I unable to brighten his day although I am beside, he din feel any changes in life .. is it I unable to communicate with him? I dun think he is happy that time.......for me knowing him is just like a story ,I never think I will met him............ I really feel very lousy inside and useless and when times go by the fear might lost him is same with the sweet feeling that I feel for having him .. I am wrong, the boundaries and barrier felt and seen as there is a wall between us as our direction of wat our belief separate us... The answer is, I only can have one devotion( this is wat I learnt after I reflect so many times ) and we only can be together if we are walking at the same road

"If I come in when you are exhausted and feel weak, is not fair for you ...When one day when u regain ur strength, ur confident , when u again notice u actually surrounded by so many good cute and lovely girls all the times , do u still need me? Mayb that time u will realise u made a wrong choice. Is really a correct decision that I've made four years?
Yar, I really wish to stay beside you but If everything can start anew,I really hope I can become a friend standby you that bring the laughter and joy to you ."


I really think a lot this while.. is not easy