31 August National Day and 120 birthday of Holylight Church

30 August 2006
I went to far east plaza, bought some beautiful earrings, is crystal kind.. very nice..
the lady boss introduce me regards numerology.. wat's that.. according to her is count the number and will find out wat kind of personality.... she insisted is not a fortune telling and count for me and tell me I will like stone like jade kind of things.. I said I never like this kind of stone things.. she said my group number 7 and number 4 is wat i lacking..
my mind full of ????
but some of the personalities she show me is correct,
but anyway I dun believe about it
I know God will be the highest, although human are wise to have this kind of numerology but the intelligent is came from God even they can discover the number relate to human personality
or else it will come from devil to confuse people like occult

Deuteronomy 18:10-12 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
10 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in [a] the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you.

A reminder!!!

This is my weak moment, recently got many things bother me, can't sleep well, seems like unresolve, still in waiting time, must have faith in God, but without action most of time, so very fusfrated with myself
so at this point of time I must remind myself dun fall in any trap


30 August 2006
I went home yesterday wif Kelly and Joanne
very fun.. we shopping at City square.. I bought one set of cloth a bit like korean style cost me 65 ringgit , actually the lady boss want my 80 ringgit, but she agreed after I said out my budget..really like korean style..
when I walk to far east plaza, at the mrt station was spotted by a lady , she approached me, and she said want my name and phone number for new face in newspaper for audition.. haha.. I asked her to repeat again as I can't hear her as I listen to my MP3, I never knew I will have this opportunity, I still thanks God for that, but I know I not pretty enough able to put my face in newspaper... number 2 I never think of that
so I say dun want.. dunno will I regret, if can earn some money then will be good lar.. but never think of this as I got so many weakpoint and not pretty la.. and I am bonded... nono no ..
haha
Min , u must go first before me and show wat is really call a beauty

31 August
went to New York hotel with my whole family, have the celebration of 120 birthday of holylight church (My old church) .. wow.. the acapella and the choir of the best singer of the 6 churches
really an eye opener for me, talented ppl with dance , tambourine dance , including the young girls and young guys...My sista involved in dance , my brother is involve in choir, my mum and my dad is busy with their task in serving God, me too can help out a little bit for distributing the gifts, well, thanks Pastor that understand actually I wish to do something also...
because I din serve God for long time le...
even like this type of easy task i also happy in serving Lord

A teacher sitting same table to me is really strict looking, Lord , pls let me understand her.. change my perception on her

Finally all of us can sit down have a picture for us ( whole family)
I really happy five of us in the photo at last after few years

when I come back , called up Jen, understand that I been so many times skip the dance practice, I explained because of my works , and t course and my roster, I really will come if I can, but often because of my roster that mess up,Jen motivate me and pulled me back and said I dance not bad, love to have me to do things together...I really need to commit myself.. I like to dance because I wanna do something at least and not let my days just pass like that without serve God.. if not there is no meaning in my life... I know because I experienced it

I told Jen roughly my plans in July , dance ministry and my future I need to pray about it.. Is the time to practice faith

23-30 th August 2006

23, 24, 25 th August2006

These three days work night shift in ICA
more comfortable and not so stress compare to room 8
watching TV and surfing net still doing the old things
remembered a woman with confused pulled out her IA line , the blood was like a fountain shoot up as I heard before and this is the first time I witness , splash on my jacket also, then quickly stop the blood, she is ok, but she does not listen to advice, becaue of confuse talking herself thru the night , others including me listen her conversation thru the night
sometimes I wonder if I become her age , wat would I be...
this make me want to enjoy my youngster age even more but with meaning on it

25th ,my last lesson with Sister Tan Siok Bee.. she is the very Good person which motivate me to become like her, she is kind , knowledgeable , full with compassion and smart.. so this is the end of my two months course, now waiting to prepare my test which fall on 29 of sept.. oh no .. study.. sian...my assessment haven't done...tasks again



26 , 27th August
I went home to JB meet my aunt third aunt and my grand ma, grand pa, having dinner with my cousin xiao yin, min, wat a good gathering..after my sleep hours
I'm sad that xiao yin going abroad soon, but quite worry for her, hope that she is fine and can accept God, who knows, this might be God purpose as can away from influence..
but all depends on her what kind of friends she make, worry that she join in wrong company


28, 29th August
I work afternoon then morning the next day
ICA busy with the bed 4, pass to kenan, unable to finish on time so stay back and do my things
the ext morning work as junior with my friends .. haha... I am glad that I am a junior , not so tough with a lot of N. A students help me, I thanks for the lecturer and the lecturer thanks me for giving opportunity.. haha.. she is nice ..reminded my aim for this line as lecturer.. but i not good in communicating with sisters all these .. and not really like..
I like to share wat I know.. sometimes I feel satisfaction from here...quite happy with it when the students understand. but need to be a good role model

29 th tuesday, sad that I can't go again for dance ministry, and cannot join for prison ministry outreach.. sometimes I feel oh no.. I wasting of a lot of time..din do so something useful and only face tv or surfing net to keep my thought away, dun have that kind of mood to do things

Han lend me two korean show.. we are korean drama fans.. haha... cheers!!

Actually these few days I can't really sleep well, J always been so nice to me even I said that to him... but I know if he keep on like this will gonna get hurt..I know all the while where my heart is.. that's y I said to forget a person is not easy , mayb need a long time, mayb forever..
but I feel like find out wat W answer..

must bring out my courage..

16/8/2006 -22/8/06 Decision

16/8/2006 wednesday
work morning, afternoon plan to go out wif siew hui but unable to get thru
then J called up, watch fast and furious Tokyo Drift together, a very nice show.. I like the technical of car drifting, amazing, must be superb good then can drive like that.. but worry ppl see this movie will start imitate and will cause road danger...

J been very nice to me,even yu ting mistaken he is my boyfriend,
sometimes I wonder did he treat every friends like that.. that kind of worry suddenly felt..

I am not sure he is the one? but many times when I am in sad mood ,I received his msg..
I am afraid he is another PA or D
and I feel I am not good enough to involve in BGR for many reason..ppl just dun understand...
I am different with other girl, with some reason ...
I definately not a lesbian or something sex transform or wat... I like MAN , not WOMAN
I am a girl that need a person really Love me a lot if I involve in BGR, not so simple




17/8/2006 thursday
restday, at home
tidy up the home
watch Tv drama Princess Hour


18/8/2006 Friday
Training for diabetic course
J asked me out for lending me fast and furious part 2,
Met him at Bugis, the building is very nice.. I wait for him while listening music thru net
He looks speechless and down, dunno wat's wrong with him..walk with him through the bugis street, suddenly he suggested to go to esplanade.. we sat at the bench there..yeah, the scene is beautiful, and there is performance, I sensed he wanna say something, I began to worried .. he been quiet as he see me try to distract the conversation, he speechless and lie on my shoulder, then I said "my shoulder can lend u, but u must not like me"
when being asked the reason why, i said I can treat male as buddies or friend, I dun wan to hurt him, as my heart still thinking W, been almost 5 years I still can't forget him, and for some reasons..I guess that is Love ba, although he been so naughty , too many ppl favourite and unforgiven for his act and never love me like I do.. but I always miss him..
I know J is hurt.. i can sense the sadness like a flow of bitter gasses make my heart feel sour

His act remind me of W very often...
Although W and me get together is very short.. but it seems like very long
I struggle inside whether just accept J like that, but I can't, I really dunno wat's my feeling to him and do not want to accept him just because want to forget W
I guess I will only moved by the person that really love me a lot ba
Let's God lead ba

so for these few days can't really sleep well, I can't forget W , I love W, accept J, is J the one , is W the one?think too much
and post menstruation ,been very down , watching drama not to think anything...distraction

If What W mean life story by Dick Lee is a hinting for me, I will find and talk to him

When I been down,not only relationship, in many aspect of life, thank you for Sy Hoi and Chng Kai my brother and sister for the support

All I need to do is pray, not to stray away from God, have faith in God, found out my faith is so little.. haiz

The last sermon I went , need to remind me of this
"Believe and understand in God's word"
"Faith without Act is death"

Guang Liang - Yue Ding

Utada Hikaru First Love

I will be glad if oneday he understand...

Band: Tonic

Song:
If You Could Only See If you could only see the way she loves me Then maybe you would understand Why I feel this way about our love And what I must do If you could only see how blue Her eyes can be when she says When she says she loves me Well you got your reasons And you've got your lies And you've got your manipulations You cut me down to size Say you know but you don't To keep your love but you won't If you could only see the way she loves me Then maybe you would understand Why I feel this way about our love And what I must do If you could only see how blue Her eyes can be when she says When she says she loves me Sees the road less traveled Shows happiness some other And you gotta take a little hurt To keep what you love It's what you gotta do Say you know but you don't To keep your love but you won't Streaching out your arms To something's just not there Say you love where you stand Give your heart when you can If you could only see the way she loves me Then maybe you would understand Why I feel this way about our love And what I must do If you could only see how blue Her eyes can be when she says When she says she loves me Say you love but you don't To keep your love but you won't She love Say you love where you stand Give your heart when you can If you could only see the way she loves me Then maybe you would understand Why I feel this way about our love And what I must do If you could only see how blue Her eyes can be when she says When she says she loves me

lee hom- yi shou jian dan de ge

他和她的故事

12/8/06 Sat

back home sleep awhile then wash my cloths doing household,
back home to JB
seeing my grandpa boss , lady boss and the brother that send me to Singapore last time.. well, really long time din see them... feeling I am growing old ready
The most happy news that I learnt is, my grandma accept christ ...
hope to see them in heaven
My prayer to God for my grandma and dad answered
My prayer to God is grandma accept God in her life before she is not at the earth
my heart was sad because the timing is nearer..........I really dunno can accept it or not.. pray for God strength.. Grandma, Grandpa I love u

9/8/06 to 11/8/06

9/8/06 wed
today work night shift
morning went cold storage buy some daily stuff
then sleep awhile
till night time work, today I pray in heart , hopefully everything fine because I will waork with L
the most person I dun feel like work with and she will condemn those person she dun like, yar I'm one of it.. but recently she treat me not bad..still feel ok
but when I work with her today, I din dare ask her regards the priming of ICP transducer and the end she said I dun understand a simple commant and mess up with the hemoport. well, I dun feel like argure back as I respect her, well, she simply blame me for all the things said I mess up with the things she ask me to do...

Well, I take a deep breath and swallow, yar my pt is ICA status, so I gonna help u more... this is wat I think.. but when she just blame on me for the things that not come out smoothly make me feel like keep away myself from her, she just wanna find fault on me
And I realised she really condemn me and dislike me although she pretend in front of me


the rest of time, she just treat me ok...pretend and belanja me her bread.. as entertain her I just accept , this is my beginning of my mistake...



10/8/2006
Telecaster
I wake up 3 plus because today I have course
I attended the course till 6.30pm then can't really find a place to sleep so I rest a corner of staff room which is dark and comfortable to rest...
Overheard the comments that this L say out loud in front of my other senior and sis Z.. comment ppl like " no worth any cent", well realised she is not aware of my present , she say like I am not a ordinary human at all,blame me said I messed up all things and telecast for the yesterday mistake, sis Z know my present she said L should sayang me, but can imagine she said I got eat the food that L bought for me, L did bought food for me...
Aunty B realised I am there , wanna stop her by hinting to my other senior, "L" not realised keep on going and going... my other senior which more understanding keep quiet while hearing her shooting on me...
suddenly I feel disgust and want to puke when I realise how HYPOCRASY a person like her
Seeing ppl like that changed my mind of ppl

I was totally hurt by her words , ya..
Eveybody was shocked when realised I am a corner when they want to walk out the staff room...
U can imagine how shock she is when she saw me..

I pray in heart dun hate her,
but at the moment I can't just
I gonna pray more for forgiving
I really can't work with her anymore
I ask God how?
Then when I walk out I thanks God that I was at ICA no need to face her and work with her, that they change room, I feel relieve I worked In ICA
the pt only one and I have the time to cool myself down
Joan and Kak RaseDh comfort me, and I realise I am not alone.. alot ppl give me encouragement and support, Joan give me a special edition of Daily Bread edition, I read it during the night
I thanks God for the Wonderful love

middle of night "L" invite me to eat the porridge that she bought for eveyone and I say I dun want . she know y
yes, I can 't have it and I can't face this type of hypocrate ppl.. wat a Danger that kena cucuk any time,

11/8/06 Friday
Morning I went for course again , this time went to Gamma Knife Centre for a visit
on the way, saw a forty plus woman tripped and fall infront of us at the staircase along the road as it is drizzling the road is very slippery, she is helpless , her tears keep on rolling down, because she sprain her ankle... she is helpless ... she refuse to see Dr and ask somebody to bring her home.. realised that she was a breadwinner and she is a taxi driver and her husband just partially recover from stroke and her only son is <21 years old unable to drive her home, by struggling ,she cripple and walk herself together with her husband and son towards the taxi....Actually the scene was very sad, the family wanna weep in front of us while seeing the mother sprained the leg.............

This is reality, is very sad,
health is important, money is also important , but God is the most important because God know our needs before us..


I went back home 12.30pm and sleep till start to do night shift again, thanks God, I work in ICA as I change with Melanie, at least no need to face L
I thanks Mel for that
2 pt...Melissa inspire me of taking advance Dip..She really made me think again... because of my plan .....
I dunno feel confuse.. pray to God to make my mind clear because is a very important decision.. I need to consider my financial, my future, my education progress, my health whether can take it or not , future opporturnity etc...
God plese lead me

Singapore Fireworks Festival (05/08/06) No.1

Singapore Fireworks Festival 2006 - Team Singapore

singapore fireworks Festival 06 Team Singapore

NDP Fireworks 08 Aug 2006

Singapore Fireworks Festival 2006 ( Team Singapore)

5, 6, 7, 8 of August

4th Friday
work afternoon, work with "D. Moneyc " for the following days, will challange my toleration.I gonna pray more
2 times being teased by him, well, normal words he use.. " can U use ur common sense?"
"Oh... well, of course I know but eveyone decision is different, do u know that????" I wish to tell him this , but I didn't..
I think I gonna control my anger,pray more on this, realised that I got angry with things and person nowadays.. that's bad




5th Saturday
work day
2and 3 , eveything is ok
very tiring


6th Sunday
work day
2 and 3, an aunty has hallucination or depression, refuse all the care, been agitated all the times
as encouraged by a 2/6 aunty who is brave and strong , she has a boy and her husband is supportive
she looks cheerful
the face and head got scar after operation . she still behaves strong
she told me the most fear in Life is_ dun fall sick
yar.. I do agree

I went to church after I manage to finished my work at 6.30pm.
God said read BIBLE
yar... been long time I really din spend much time in God's work
faith without work is dead
yar I do agree
A reminder for me

8th Monday
The most busy day of the week, thanks God still can go thru



9th Tuesday
work as A Junior .. partner with Kelly and ganga
lost one mitten while turning and pt gonna transfer... bought one for pt.. that's is strange, I really can't find it... Is strange I know... gonna pray more

went out with Kelly
can't have the cort so can't go for NDO sad..
saw the beautiful national day firework very beutiful
met up with Qipei,
three of us chat at Ben and Jerry ( Douby Ghout)
Is really long chat and we know each other and encourage each other more
the most amuse thing is guy look at me and say U want 3 scoop of Ice cream???????
He can't believe?? HAHAHA
thingking to go church but is too late.. so Iwent home

this week....

August 4, 2006
“I Did That Too”
LISTEN TO ODB RADIO: Real MP3 WMAREAD: Matthew 18:23-33
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. —1 Timothy 1:15
-->About this cover
Our friend Barbara Leavitt loved flowers. Her home was a garden of rare beauty and sweet fragrance, and so was her life. Her presence was like a delightful bouquet.
Barbara went to be with the Lord in 2005, but something happened a few days before she died that I will never forget. My wife and I were sitting at her bedside with other friends telling stories about our childhood when I mentioned that I had once stolen some flowers. There was a park between the elementary school I attended and our home. One day, while walking through the park, I saw a row of irises in bloom and cut several to take to my mother. Some older boys saw me and threatened to call the police. I lived in terror for weeks thinking they would come and take me away.
Barbara placed her hand over mine and murmured softly, “I did that too.” I thought, That should be my response when I see the sins of others or hear about them—“I did that too.” Perhaps I’ve not committed their particular sin, but all sin is blameworthy and requires God’s forgiveness.
Awareness of our own depravity is what John Newton called “the root of perpetual tenderness.” I don’t want to be like the ungrateful servant in Matthew 18. I want to be gracious and show mercy, for “I did that too.” —David H. Roper—David H. Roper-->
Teach me to feel another’s woe,To hide the fault I see;The mercy I to others show,That mercy show to me. —Pope
We can show mercy to others because God has shown mercy to us.

2/8/06 Wednesday
RD- I went home after I bought the DNP .. playing maple story to release stress
well , only up to level 10 still haven reach any of the job advancement yet..
but at least level 10
Realised that my dad now is 50 years old le..
I better jia you..

3/8/06 Thursday
DO- feeling sad because really can't enjoy the day off.. gonna go out attending meeting because I 've been warned .. haiz..
I went to Millenia to take the goodies after I visit my aunt, and finish the meeting, and hae dinner with my cousin, cousin's wife, niece,my aunt's family...aunt Emily and aunt Sally
then go home
go and bought a small book to joit down my incoming and outgoing spending

4/8/06 Friday
Morning on course , work afternoon , then come back
will going for a course on 18 and 21 this month
seeing the husbands still love their wife when she is in this kind of condition, no beautiful outlook, mentally confuse or daze because of disease, mayb will just leave in such a stage or in future might still same condition, they never give up on their wife... I very touched in my heart
Love , responsiblities is this mean

I see one 70 plus old couple, wife sit on the wheelchair holding the umbrella to cover the sunlight for her husband and the husband was wheeling the wheelchair which his wife sit on it under the hot sun... I saw it at the bus station in front of my place..