28/29/30 - 5- 2006

28/5/2006

Finally, can join in dance offering," When I call on Jesus" Jen said this dance teach us cannot neglect any simple or a little steps, head movement in the dance , of course in the life too even a simplest thing of our life we need to look into seriously ...

Well ,feel nervous when starting at 9.30am but after that feel much better at 11.00 am..
Dunno whether the outcome is good, wait till yen teng's video cam result and see how...
Yup, be a leader will be lonely because nobody can actually really understand the stress and the reason for being strict and behave like a leader, Actually I can understand , because I feel it when last time being a class leader, some ppl might fear u when doing things strict or point out the mistakes on other people, nobody like it... but correction is also showing love and care of that person.. I fully agree..

Having a wonderful lunch with Yenteng, Jen and Catherine... we chat.. raining on that day.. Jen send me back, asked me regards my future plan.... Well she really know wat in my thinking, she has the Gift, She always know wat troubling me , my needs something like that... Thanks God..

She shared with me wif Catherine , the situation now life is very competitive in tis field, and I am also not young, is building career time unless Is God 's calling to u on this field.. Actually I know too.. I am still searching the answer , as I know this is a very important decision and I dun want to leave dance ministry and Singapore... I dunno and searching the word of God ....Thanks God!!

Today sermon talk about Lamb recognised sherpherd voice, we are the lamb and only recognise to our Heavenly Father

There is a father went to a city to find her daughter which disappear for awhile after she went to study in that city.. the father heard ppl sid she join with bad company and always hang around at somewhere pub or nightclub... The father remembered her daughter used to sing the song when she was young, so he standing at he middle of the road at the places of his daughter will go, He began to sing.. sing.. sing...

And his daughter heard the familiar voice turn her head back and see her father, She approached her father.. And Her father hug her and said to her "I bring u home",,,

This story is really touch me, remind me when I was slacked away or backslided , but God said to me, " I bring u home" God really know where is my limititation and prepare the table before me.. God took me away when I am going to make a serious mistake.. I asked for forgiveness ...God knows..
God prepare a very good working setting for me..God Knows.. God let me to choose to study this... because God knows too... God prepared the every single things for me.. because God knows too..



My nights, first night doing wif June, Kenan, N.lina. me and Kelly... full house.. my pt still ok... but I feel a bit sad for 8/1 when I read the report of his psychology stage...

Thanks God , finish in time... well, Kenan "buay tahan" I asked the same things three times just wanna give myself reassurance because the Dc say like I sounds wrong.. but anyway morning me, Kelly , Rizal, June ,Kenan, we went for breakfast at canteen, this Kenan joke wif wat "meow " thingy with June make us laugh untill cannot stand straight... wat la

went back , listen to CD ( Isaah and Rebekah), haven finish yet.. but fall asleep, Sy Hoi Mum cook for me for dinner, feel like home..

29/5/06 second night and third night

nothing special but morning having breakfast with Rizal and Kelly
Jon called me up, unable to meet him for lunch , sweet. Xiao Yin too she came to Sing also cannot meet her for dinner because I am really tired but able to finished ( Isaah and Rebekah) the CD
and I really make a big decision finally, yes, I am sad when I really need to choose one, wat I can do is only can pray for him..By God mercy and grace, He will fine and blessed.

30/5/06 spnning of my head
I slept and a dream regard that day incident that almost quarelling , God want to let me know something about that... Hinting me dun care about how people see u and think of u, they only want to won you... do my own things .. remember the purpose and dun care about ppls unbuilding words and teases...
lack of sleep then I feel spinning in my head , close my eyes

25/5/06 Thursday, final decision made ,now I realised u are right, I'm just nothing.

Today wake up around 9 plus, try to go for medical checkup earlier as expected long queve, but when I try to put on make up , it take me so long... lack of experience.. all these are to cover the acne marks...I like the eye shadow that put on blue, look neater and not like sick ppl..hate to make up actually, many of the people make up either they like it or they not confident in their look...so I am the second type of person this time... but outcome not bad still like it but it really wasting time..

I went for medical check up, X-ray, draw blood, they said HR ppl will contact us... I still praying for the PR .. Dun want to waste the $200... recently really used up a lot of vit M.. gonna save save save...

Went to visit my aunt at salon, my third aunt will undergoing bone marrow aspiration this time.. what she share with me really shocked me with her faith, very strong
"Are u afraid?" I asked
She said,
" Why should I afraid, all lean on God, even is the timing I gonna go , God will bring me to Heaven."
Her faith is so strong......even shocked me....she will going to visit my grandmum before she doing that procedure..
My aunt is a free thinker or non-believerbefore that, but now she trust in God. Amen

In some circumstances, God will whisper and draw near to you. You will learnt and draw near even more.


I finally met Siew Hui, she is ike working gal now, but still remain as cheerful and positive.. my best friend.. This Hillsong CD is meant to u... thanks God!!Hope will motivate and encourage u all the times..

chatting about recent life and talk about our old friends, future plan., vit M matter... anyway I will give u my support whatever u decision is but I will gonna miss u a lot if u are not in Singapore again...

This song when asked me to listen, is it the meaning that you intend to tell me, but I am too stupid because I always will misunderstood so I just think that u want me to listen a nice song, but I really happy and touch when u want me to listen it...

枫
Feng
Maple
作词：宋健彰(弹头)Zuo Ci: Song Jian Zhang (Dan Tou)Lyricist: Song Jian Zhang (Bullet)
作曲：周杰伦Zuo Qu: Zhou Jie LunComposer: Jay Chou

乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
wu yun zai wo men xin li ge xia yi kuai yin ying
Dark clouds cast a patch of shadow over our hearts

我聆听沉寂已久的心情
wo ling ting chen ji yi jiu de xin qing
I listen closely to the feelings that have long been silenced

清晰透明
qin xi tou ming
Distinct and transparent

就像美丽的风景
jiu xiang mei li de feng jing
Just like a beautiful landscape

总在回忆里才看的清
zong zai hui yi li cai kan de qing
That can only be clearly seen in one’s memories

被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
bei shang tou de xin neng bu neng gou ji xu ai wo
Can a heart that’s been thoroughly wounded keep on loving me?

我用力牵起没温度的双手
wo yong li qian qi mei wen du de shuang shou
I work hard to pull up a pair of warmth-less hands

过往温柔
guo wang wen rou
A gentleness that came and went

已经被时间上锁
yi jing bei shi jian shang suo
Has already been locked by time

只剩挥散不去的难过
zhi sheng hui san bu qu de nan guo
All that’s left are grievances that cannot be waved apart

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
huan huan piao luo de feng ye xiang si nian
Longing is like a maple leaf, slowly drifting downwards

我点燃烛光温暖岁末的秋天
wo dian ran zhu guang wen nuan sui mo de qiu tian
I ignite a candle to warm this year-end’s autumn

极光掠夺天边
ji guan lue duo tian bian
The aurora steals the horizon

北风掠过想你的容颜
bei feng lie guo xiang ni de rong yan
The north wind flits across, thinking of your appearance

我把爱想成了落叶
wo ba ai xiang cheng le luo ye
I think of love as a falling leaf

却换不回熟悉的那张脸
que huan bu hui shu xi de na zhang lian
But I cannot trade back that familiar face

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
huan huan piao luo de feng ye xiang si nian
Longing is like a maple leaf, slowly drifting downwards

为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
wei he wan hui yao gan zai dong tian lai zhi qian
Why does this retrieval have to happen before winter comes?

爱你穿越时间
ai ni chuan yue shi jian
My love for you transcends time

两行来自秋末的眼泪
liang hang lai zi qiu mo de yan lei
Two lines of tears that fell for the end of autumn

让爱渗透了地面r
ang ai shen tou le di mian
Has let love completely permeate the surface of the earth

我要的只是你在我身边
wo yao de zhi shi ni zai wo shen bian
The only thing I want is for you to be at my side

被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
bei shang tou de xin neng bu neng gou ji xu ai wo
Can a heart that’s been thoroughly wounded keep on loving me?

我用力牵起没温度的双手
wo yong li qian qi mei wen du de shuang shou
I work hard to pull up a pair of warmth-less hands

过往温柔
guo wang wen rou
A gentleness that came and went

已经被时间上锁
yi jing bei shi jian shang suo
Has already been locked by time

只剩挥散不去的难过
zhi sheng hui san bu qu de nan guo
All that’s left are grievances that cannot be waved apart

在山腰间飘逸的红雨
zai shan yao piao yi de hong yu
That rain of red floating halfway down between the mountains

随著北风凋零
sui zhe bei feng diao ling
Are scattered with the north wind

我轻轻摇曳风铃
wo qing qing yao ye feng ling
I gently sway the windchime

想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
xiang huan xing bei yi qi de ai qing
Attempting to awaken an abandoned love

雪花已铺满了地
xue hua yi pu man le di
Snowflakes have already covered the ground

深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
shen pa chuang wai feng ye yi ji cheng bing
Dreading that the maple leaves outside the window have turned to iceberg

Jay Chou- Feng MV




I need to make decision which really very hard, this kind of feeling I think only Des. and God will know...

When I met u, I am just a mushroom head, still try to figure out the new environment and life, a special guy, in sharp eye when I entered the room seeing me, I din dare to look at u ... U are different ... look unfriendly... Better stay away

but one day this fellow, singing "God please save, save me- shen a jiu jiu wo from chen xiao chun" then I changed my impression on him... he is funny, he not so unfriendly.. He looked like very sad but dunno why , when he sang lang hua yi duo duo with friends, I think they all "xiao-CRAZY " le.. but that day was very fun .. because they are very entertaining...

when we sat in round , HEY, u say a few times sorry because U knocking at my baby guitar, but I feel a bit pity for u when U can' join us as U really fast learner...

then dunno where the courage come from I can have the confident being with you...
I can tell u the "transparent ATAP" in ice kacang is my favourite


歌曲：勇气
歌手：梁静茹
歌词内容： 词:光良 曲:瑞业

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我爱你的意义(我的爱就有意义)
我们都需要勇气 去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心 你的真心


如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急
更害怕错过你
yong qi




but I do afraid it like a firework... vanished very fast.....
because I am wrong...

歌曲：爱，很简单
歌手：陶喆

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你一种感觉
忽然间发现自己 已深深爱上你 真的很简单

david tao - ai hen jian dan


When oneday , I realised I am wrong in a way
and u are tired of listening the centre part of my life and u found it actually u just like me not the love ..

suddenly I feel I lost something... that kind of feeling..my heart like a shattered glass really painful.. and God take a very long time slowly amend it pieces and pieces

silent - jay chow




If " an jing" is the song u want to express the feeling
and I can tell u I will also choose that song
because I am really sad , really sad.. I tried very hard, but the door maintained close
because of my disobedient
and I am wrong

U do still surrounded by many beautiful cuties I can see,
Perphaps I just an extra, I feel u dun need me at all
Decision made, take care.

I believe God has the plan meant for everyone of us,
And God will prepare the best for us
Take care. dun think will see again.

I believe / you 'll never walk alone

Barbra Streisand - I Believe/you'll Never Walk Alone

Lyrics:
a flower grows
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night a candle glows
I believe for every one who goes astray someone will come to show the way
I believe
I believe
I believe above the storm a smallest prayer
will still be heard and I believe that someone in the great somewhere
his everyword
everytime I hear a newborn baby cry
or touch a leaf
or see a star
then I know why I believe

When you walk
through a storm
hold your head up high
and don''t be afraid of the dark
at the end of the storm
is a golden sky
and the sweet silver song of a lark
walk on through the wind
walk on through the rain
though your dreams be tossed
and blown
walk on
walk on
with hope in your heart
and you''ll never walk alone
you''ll never walk alone
you''ll never walk alone
I believe
I believe
I believe

Esther's Sharing

Thank you Winnie for the note that u copy down that u gave me.Before I lost this paper, better put it here...
I found it very helpful but I still try to figure how to share in future, challenge huh

1 Peter 1:3-9 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Praise to God for a Living Hope 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 5:10-11 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen

Philippians 4:7 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

2 Corinthians 4:17 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Isaiah 54:11-17 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a] your foundations with sapphires. [b]
12 I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace.
14 In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD.

1 Peter 4:12-19 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Suffering for Being a Christian 12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"[a]
19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

He who guards his month preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. --Proverbs 13:3

May 25, 2006
Words That Defile
LISTEN TO ODB RADIO: Real MP3 WMAREAD: Matthew 15:17-20
He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. —Proverbs 13:3
-->About this cover


Recently I overheard an older woman speaking to a friend about the current obsession with dieting. “These days,” she mused, “I’m more concerned with what comes out of my mouth than what goes into it.” There’s a world of wisdom in those words.
Jesus put it this way: “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man” (Matthew 15:18-20).
What we say affects others. “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,” says Proverbs 12:18. But what we may overlook is the effect our reckless words have on us. When we gossip, or when we malign others, our words begin to ruin us, for we gratify the evil that is in us and strengthen it until it overthrows us.
On the contrary, when we guard our lips we strike a blow at this malevolence. “The tongue of the wise promotes health,” continues Proverbs 12:18. We protect our souls, for we weaken the very thing that lies in wait to ruin us.
Ask God to “set a guard” over your mouth and “keep watch over the door” of your lips (Psalm 141:3). Let your words promote life, not destruction. —David H. Roper—David H. Roper-->


Guard well your lips, for none can knowWhat evils from the tongue may flow;What guilt, what grief may be incurredBy one uncautious, evil word. —Elliott

24/5/06 Beautitudes-Title of bible study

Matthew 5:1-12 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Matthew 5

The Beatitudes
1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,
2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.


Today , is my off day, wake up 10 plus, received a voice message asking me to go back to work on Morning , ppl on MC, called back , thanks God no need to go back already found replacement.

Actually I thanks God for this opportunity that I can attend this bible study, Jen always wish I could join them.. but working is my excuse, I only can attend service and dance... today is really the day , God want to speak to me really..

I found there is always a " hipcup" before I attend anything which draw near to God.. must change.. because either my costume got problem or my registration paper din bring in... very strange... evil one want to stop me huh.. but God is always Greater than U.. I always go through it at the end.. I must be alert.. this is my weakness that shown

I learnt blessed in" Bankrupt/poor" in Spirit, because will not have pride, and depend and surrendered everything to Lord

I learnt blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted
When suffering the pain and heart broken , it is the time we learnt the most

I always try to hide away the testing and challenge, but by faith we shall overcome it and change it. Trust in the Lord , and Lord will lead the way.

Yes, Lord , I am a sinner. Do forgive me.



Today afternoon I went to junction8 buy the daily thingy... spend a lot of money, staying outside alone with friends really cost a lot in living expenses, the living cost here is so high.. just step out anywhere also need money.. after buying things rushed home take a nap, dunno why , recently I feel a bit giddy when I go to the crowded area, especially shopping mall, I just feel giddy...

after take a nap then go church.. sorry Winnie, cannot meet u for dinner before we go , but thank you for the Joyful cards gift that u give me, I will remember to read everyday, Thank you so much and U also must take care yea..I can feel your heart filled with love.. u like to sharing, and will find out everything that u dunno willing to learn and share with others , this is the gift of God for you..... will keep u in prayer .. God is the Healer

Siew Hui, can't wait to see u tomorrow after so long.. Gambadei for tomorrow interview!!!!
tomorrow medical check up, my application a bit slow... I dun want to pay another $200 because of that...must pray

23/5/06 God's word to me when I face people critism and comments

May 23, 2006
Welcome Criticism
LISTEN TO ODB RADIO: Real MP3 WMAREAD: Proverbs 9:1-10
A fool despises his father’s instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent. —Proverbs 15:5
-->About this cover


Cancer researcher Dr. Robert Good was a hard-driving individual with an enormous faculty for new ideas. According to an article I read about him, he had the ability to make use of any information he came across.
I was most impressed, however, with a statement that credited him with a willingness to recognize any error in his theories and abandon them faster than anyone else in medical research. An associate said, “Dr. Good never gets married to his hypotheses, so he doesn’t go through the pangs of divorce when one is proven wrong.”
Proverbs 9 puts a high premium on such a willingness to see one’s error and admit it. It describes a wise man as one who wants to learn from his mistakes. When challenged, he resists the urge to get his back up like a threatened tomcat. Instead, correction becomes a faithful friend and a necessary means to improvement (v.9). On the other hand, when a “scoffer” is rebuked, he responds with anger and hate (v.8). Because of his overinflated ego, he won’t listen when told he has erred.

We need to follow the path of wisdom by giving heed to words of reproof. To be truly wise, we must remember that at times we too have played the fool. —Mart De Haan—Mart De Haan-->
When criticism comes your way,Consider its intent;It may be that some truth from GodTo you is being sent. —D. De Haan

23/5/06 God's word to me when I face people critism and comments

May 23, 2006
Welcome Criticism
LISTEN TO ODB RADIO: Real MP3 WMAREAD: Proverbs 9:1-10
A fool despises his father’s instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent. —Proverbs 15:5
-->About this cover


Cancer researcher Dr. Robert Good was a hard-driving individual with an enormous faculty for new ideas. According to an article I read about him, he had the ability to make use of any information he came across.
I was most impressed, however, with a statement that credited him with a willingness to recognize any error in his theories and abandon them faster than anyone else in medical research. An associate said, “Dr. Good never gets married to his hypotheses, so he doesn’t go through the pangs of divorce when one is proven wrong.”
Proverbs 9 puts a high premium on such a willingness to see one’s error and admit it. It describes a wise man as one who wants to learn from his mistakes. When challenged, he resists the urge to get his back up like a threatened tomcat. Instead, correction becomes a faithful friend and a necessary means to improvement (v.9). On the other hand, when a “scoffer” is rebuked, he responds with anger and hate (v.8). Because of his overinflated ego, he won’t listen when told he has erred.

We need to follow the path of wisdom by giving heed to words of reproof. To be truly wise, we must remember that at times we too have played the fool. —Mart De Haan—Mart De Haan-->
When criticism comes your way,Consider its intent;It may be that some truth from GodTo you is being sent. —D. De Haan

23/5/06 soaring like an eagle

Today work in RM1-8 as a junior, din talk much , I felt environment a bit tense.. three person plus me... thanks God for Reeney , my pal and my good partner, always lending hands to me, such a good girl... I think my seniors are not really talk much because dun think they like me.. I dun like this kind of feeling... miserable.. I can't please everyone indeed....because this is me, I got a strong stubborn character , pray to God and try to change....

huhz..this is one of the environmental factor discourage me.. I feel like uncomfortable that can't talk like friend.. good is Chunying gave me a souvenir when she came back from her hometown .. phone pouch, I was so touch .. at least I was remembered since she went back home for a month.. really touching.. she feel uncomfortable today.. hope she is fine

kena yield by M , upset that my assuming brought to a waste of suction container, wasting ?lie,
try to give excuse to cover up so that she won't scold me further , a protection of myself , I feel upset with it bcause she is just yield like that in front of so many ppl, all my senior , I dunno wat she want to bring me down or wat... is not the first time, discouragment words also heard before...hello u can talk nicely to me , I'm not ur maid..I was angry and take out the thing from trash and want to put back to original position, Chua stopped me, because things done unable to rewind back... and it is dirty... "if u further question me, I also cannot do anything"..I din talk to her after that , pray in my heart to calm myself and ask for forgiveness for giving excuse to get away the scolding...

Reflection done and realise actually she mean good to me too, point out mistake, only thing is the way she express out is not right.. But in my mind I prefer to "prevent before than cure"..

My heart is full of bitterness, and I cannot forgive myself as giving myself such a stupid excuse just want to escape from all the scolding and question.. ask from forgiveness as I pray after I finished my work and took a cab went home.. I am tired ( physically and mentally)

went home take a nap try not to think the matter anymore and take cab again to dance practice today, I feel fresh and not so tired, Jen always a smilley and joyful, cheerful face welcomes us..
practice ...hope our everything can glorify God, Praise the Lord, yen Teng also print for me the registration form tomorrow for bible study together of 16 ppl in our gang . I can't wait for that .. full of excitement,

Des, hope she is fine too as the leg swelling , But God is the healer, she definitely get healed, her faith , trust , obedience in Lord is wat I wish to learnt from... she really like a booster , she go through the things and the decision that so difficult to made , and I failed to made........She love God. Gift of God is amazing!!!!Eveyone has the gift of God, Jen I see a teacher in her, she understand and sensitive to needs, a good observant, a good leader and yenteng is a graceful swan if let me describe her and an inteligent owl.....and others in myself somehow I can see their various gift of God..

We dance is not by our own strength or own will but is by his grace and resurrection of power.

I told Winnie, When we dancing with fan, I feel like soaring like an eagle , there is wind....felt
and this song touch..


Call On Jesus
by Mullen Nicole C.


I'm so very ordinary
Nothing special on my own
I have never walked on water
I have never calmed a storm
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark

But when I call on Jesus
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall'
Cause He'll move heaven and earth
to come rescue me when I call

Weary brother Broken daughter
Widowed, widowed lover
You're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on

When you call on Jesus
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When you call on Jesus
Mountains are 'gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth
to come and rescue you when you call

Call him in the mornin'
In the afternoon time
Late in the evenin'
He'll be there

When your heart is broken
And you feel discouraged
You can just remember that
He said
He'll be there

When I call on Jesus
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth
to come rescue me when I call

22/5/06 Monday -first meet and last say bye bye

Today I work morning at RM 4 and 5, Thanks for Julie and Authur the student with much more life experience compare to me, without them will be difficult... stella and Mr. Lim also , Thank you.

Well, able to finish most of the work in time.. compare to Rm2, and RM 3 , is much more difficult and a lot of changes, Huiyi kena stay back...

Today is Dc Hari last day, and Dc Sara is on last Sat., wave at Dc Sara, although sometimes are angry with him but he is nice after all, He is caring to pt also , can see that .. but when come to working must has the firm kind of doing way.. anyway working life is like that... he been very patient le.. Hope he is doing fine next sector

Dc Hari really very friendly and polite, never throwing temper .. he has his way in doing things politely... I do really enjoy working with him.. but he is transfer to other place.. hope next time he can come back here when he want to.. He is a senior gp but he is humble ...today is his last day.. "Bye Dc Hari.. All the best in everything u do" I greet him, realised that actually he is the first person and last person I cooperate, same with Dc Bernard, same at Rm 4 and 5.. special Rm will first meet and last say bye bye

night time have a chance to packet the dinner and brought home and eat faster and meet Chingkai at City hall , too bad his girlfriend or my sister Sy Hoi cannot join us as working night... we went for a talk .. smart looking when wearing coat.. but I feel amused when wearing the same color black and white with this buddy .. just look funny, I laugh all the way... because mayb too smart looking... hahaha...this coat I only can use it when certain occassion .. but it really smart

came home quite late 11 plus

Reply on 20/5/06 regarding change.. amazing, God know wat I need, thanks for the words

May 20, 2006
Dynamited Into Change
READ: Acts 9:1-9
He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love. —Colossians 1:13
-->About this cover
When a newspaper editor learned that a man named Alfred Nobel had died, he assumed that the deceased must be the same man who had invented dynamite. So he published an obituary calling Nobel the merchant of death.
When Nobel read the account of his own death, he reacted like a blind man suddenly gaining sight. From that day on, Nobel devoted himself to philanthropic causes—especially peace.
Saul of Tarsus experienced a transformation far more dramatic than Nobel’s. While on the road to Damascus to take captive those who followed Jesus, Saul met the Lord Himself. Temporarily blinded by his encounter, Saul devoted the rest of his life to serving the One he had formerly persecuted. The enemy of Jesus became His dedicated apostle (Acts 9:15-16).
Our own experience will not likely be so earthshaking. Yet we must ask ourselves if we have had an encounter with the Savior—one that has changed the direction of our lives.
If that is not your experience, turn to John 3 and read what Jesus said about being born again. Then, with a simple prayer of repentance, you may open your heart to Him. An honest commitment to the Lord will put you into a new relationship with Him—one that will last for eternity. —Vernon C Grounds—Vernon C Grounds-->
He touched me, oh, He touched me,And oh, the joy that floods my soul!Something happened and now I knowHe touched me and made me whole. —Gaither© 1963 by William J. Gaither
Salvation is more than breaking bad habits, it’s creating good character.

Reply for 21/5/06 when I read the daily bread, amazing

May 21, 2006 Daily Bread
Unchained By The Cross
READ: Matthew 27:33-50
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. —Romans 5:8
-->About this cover

In ancient Greek mythology, the hero Prometheus was captured and chained to a mountain peak, where he was sentenced to stay forever. Each day, a giant eagle arrived to feast on his liver. Hermes came to him and said, “Do not hope for an end to your suffering until a god appears as your substitute in torment, ready to descend for you into the realm of Hades.” According to the myth, this was done by the wise and just god Chiron, who sacrificed himself for Prometheus and delivered him from torment.
This story is in some ways a picture of what happened for us the day Jesus died on the cross. Mankind was bound by sin, and there was no hope of escape unless God took our place. And that’s exactly what happened. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died on our behalf and paid the penalty for our sin. He provided a way of releasing us from eternal punishment. Were we to write for a thousand days, we still could not express the meaning of Christ’s sacrifice for the sins of mankind. Its full significance is beyond our comprehension.
Have you confessed your sin and asked Jesus Christ to be your personal Savior? If not, there’s no better time than today.

Trust in Him, and you will know what it means to be unchained by the cross. —David C. Egner—David C. Egner-->
Amazing thought, that God in fleshWould take my place and bear my sin;That I, a guilty, death-doomed soul,Eternal life might win. —Anon.
Step out of sin’s slavery and into salvation’s freedom—trust Christ.

21/5/06 Sunday blue == Human Nail clipper Vs Dog Nail clipper

people having Monday blue , but I have Sunday blue... looking at everyone happily go out to church , shopping and blah blah blah but me gonna work afteroon....

This time actually changed shift with Cigy as she gonna look after her baby... today I saw her baby... so so so cute.. heehee...feel like pinching... she gonna look after baby as no one taking care of her so she gonna carry the baby after work and wait for her husband

work at RM 1 today , partner with Reeney. Jin Feng, well I do enjoy the day...Was upset that the incident of 1/5 , regards the restriction of sharing of good news.. Suddenly I also act as a barrier, a ristrictor when I am working... feel a bit complicated....feel a bit upset too ... feel sorry too

Today fulfilled my promise to help one cute uncle cut his nails before night as he is paraplegic, slurred speech, unable to really get wat he said.. he sure very upset.. suddenly I think of those mute and blind people... when they cannot sense or express wat they want to say .. is so helpless and depressing
We are really blessed... really blessed...

I use a gigantic nail clipper which brought by his brother, like a scissor kind of size .. first time I use it.. feel odd and 1/1 uncle amused and feel funny too. when he see me trying so hard to cut the uncle nail and the uncle still not satisfied that still not short enough,I told him to me is really short if further will definately accidently cut the flesh.. both of us ( me and the 1/1 uncle )laugh when the cute uncle 1/2 tell me
" Do u know this is a Dog nail clipper?"_uncle
"huh??????"
Me and 1/1 laugh till cannot stand straight
" Uncle, dun joke la, human use one.."
" No, ppl use it to cut the dog nail also"
haha... uncle I really can't deny that your nail really very hard
"At least u can laugh when u working , not so serious ma," uncle said

In my heart thinking, is true , Uncle thank you for bringing the joke and make my Sunday blue vanished the end of day. :)

21/5/06 Sunday

Wake up from a nightmare......a subconscious of thinking which kept in me make me fear .. like a touch light shine upon the hidden area I felt ya I'm a sinner and felt shameful...

Actually felt hurt when heard that all along I 've been treated the friend like respected senior did talk behind me last time , a feeling of betrayal....... but somehow I know the character is like that .. but dunno y I still feel hurt... am I too sensitive in ppl's said ... i encounter few times of this kind of hurt.. lead to a bit of distrust on people even friends sometimes although I know not suppose to but I can't help it .. because I hurt not only once ... I'm not sure how to face the senior again as I know... but just pray that I can forgive

I thankful to God that I'm having buddies can point up my mistake, my blindspot, talk straight open and din hide and give advice , well, these are friends that built and true

I learnt :
I think too simple, not sensitive enough to ppl and environment changes
when ppl dun say it doesn't mean they dun mind
Speak out u mind and ur opinion too regardless how ppl think or disagree
Dun be heckcare, be more proactive , not passive , dun slack and Lazy
Listening, Be more receptive and willing to change as I'm stubborn stone
Is not stop at one stage but still need to explore in further if want to hit the goal
Be sensitive, Be sensitive and more alert of ppl's mean

try to but can't admit I am "blunt"and heckcare, better talk to me straight if not happy, welcome

20/5/06 Thank you Ching Kai and Sy hoi

yeah , Ck said will joining us on Sunday starting on July... Thanks God

Work late also, realised that my tolerance also has limitation , nearly can't control when that daughter bombard me with so many questions and too anxious untill distract my work and always stopped...I almost drowned with the questions from different ppl
Now I learnt to be more patient in future... challenging


Ming Wai help a lot , she is superb.. Kind but ppl sometimes took her for granted.. Her character is a bit like me ..

went home, Ching kai and Sy Hoi shared with me with life experiences and from them I learnt my mistake, my bad habbit , my blind spots , they are really my true and very good friends who are cared about me, although elder me one year but they are so mature and I am still a kiddo, learning to grow.. but I can make it by God grace... Thank You

19/5/06 Friday

Well, today work afternoon...received a call yesterday as heard the voice message then call back know that Jon 's dad was admitted...actually planned to meet up for lunch and pay a visit to his dad but he overslept, then he rush to hosp immediately, I already took the lunch as I preparing to work.. Actually I wouldn't mind he late although I told him I mind .. just joke with him.. but he look serious... the serious feeling is like PA's

He brought me to visit his dad .. starting I think his dad also feel a bit odd too when he saw me like wat I feel.... but still okla...I thinks there will more of his friends like Gina they all will pay a visit...I brought Jon to the canteen showed him the way and he insisted want to send me to workplace, he always been so good to his friends, cared for ppl..

My quest still unanswered, mayb I very stupid , only will confirm a thing when I get straight reply.. because sometimes things is not wat we think, there will be misinterpretation, that's why I always choose to know yes or know, direct reply or answer instead give me clue..because I'm simple and stupid and din think too complicated..this is me..

I 'm not sure but I know God will know and lead..
Am I obedient?

" love chapter "is the Key word

Today accidently Met Kok How too at canteen, chat about current life and some happening among friends.. He look a bit like Bernard really

That day I was late for home as so many small small things, msg free W but no reply..well I told him the things that unsaid early on must said if not they never know wat I think.. U definitely can go through it, u must and can make it..

18/5/06 Day off

this early morning accompanied my grandmum to hospital to see her chronic lung fibrosis...wait for almost 5 hours there as so many ppl in government hospital...........
she is old...everytime I look at her I will be very upset... she is old now with white hairs not like last time so energetic and healthy and with black hairs... when ppl growing old , all sort of health problems will occur... God , u know my prayer right, please lead my grandpa and grandmum... open their heart to listen to u... I dunno I able to cope it if one day..


My brother has his princess... well , happy for him but he so frightened that we know something about this haha.. haha.. was known that is younger than him three years but she is as tall as me...hope can meet her oneday.... I really want to admit that nowadays boy really like to find gf who were younger than them at least 3 years... this is wat I come into conclusion...My peers and my buddy all like that... is true..


My Dad was concern about me too, well he really concern about me and he share his adult experiences ... I told him wat I think right now.. I also will come to cross road soon... pray that I choose the correct option... some fears and uncertainty ahead... just pray that God lead...

17/5/06 day Off

Went back to Malaysia on 17th, bought three pink roses from Woodland custom and bring all the ways to JB.. Initially want to bought carnation but not beautiful... roses are much better...I gave to my mum..I miss the Mother's Day... I did call home but she is not around that time..

Is very touching see xiao yin gave my mum one pot of flower arrangement of carnation... yup. is very nice... Hmm.. She is going to Aus soon ..going to miss her so much and she just like my sister, we grew up together... life is really very tough... hope she found her dream over there...

Mum too , She spent around RM50 to give me a pot of turlip and lily, in the pot is written, "Wish u Happy everyday" I was speechless and being so touch of my mum act, she love me

At Home, played "Maple story" online game which introduced by kenan , I was stucked there... huh... but anyway thank you "Ennebeh"the bowman.. this guy is really gentlemen eh... killed all the big pigs and big bubble and big mushroom just one single strike.... just like those ancient hero protect and save my character ,lol... I strike more than 20 times also cannot die... because the power and intelligent is not enough in my game character... nil experience... too bad still cannot survive as HP was low..able to seen the magician but still can't get to be the magician in the game... as inteligent is low... so need to find more quest to answer... tired .. think next time to play the game again when I really free..

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/minister.htm

A Remarkable Story of God's Grace

It says in James 1:2 - "Consider it pure joy, my Brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."
....To count our hurt, pain and struggle as nothing but pure joy? As my parents were Christians, and my Dad even a Pastor of our church, they knew that verse very well. However, on the morning of the 4th of December 1982 in Melbourne (Australia), the last two words on the minds of my parents was "Praise God!". Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors we shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby.
The whole church mourned over my birth and my parents were absolutely devastated. Everyone asked, "if God is a God of Love, then why would God let something this bad happen to not just anyone, but dedicated Christians?" My Dad thought I wouldn't survive for very long, but tests proved that I was a healthy baby boy just with a few limbs missing.
Understandably, my parents had strong concern and evident fears of what kind of life I'd be able to lead. The first biggest hurdle was for my parents to be at peace and trusting that God was in control. It took a number of months of tears, questions and grief before that complete overtook their hearts. God provided them strength, wisdom and courage through those early years and soon after that I was old enough to go to school.
There are a few people who assume that because of my physical disability that it meant that I'd also be mentally disabled. The law in Australia didn't allow me to be integrated into a main-stream school because of my physical disability. God did miracles and gave my Mom the strength to fight for the law to be changed. I was one of the first disabled students to be integrated into a main-stream school.
I liked going to school, and just try to live life like everyone else, but it was in my early years of school where I encountered uncomfortable times of feeling rejected, weird and bullied because of my physical difference. It was very hard for me to get used to, but with the support of my parents, I started to develop attitudes and values which helped me overcome these challenging times. I knew that I was different but on the inside I was just like everyone else. There were many times when I felt so low that I wouldn't go to school just so I didn't have to face all the negative attention. I was encouraged by my parents to ignore them and to try start making friends by just talking with some kids. Soon the students realized that I was just like them, and starting there God kept on blessing me with new friends.
There were times when I felt depressed and angry because I couldn't change the way I was, or blame anyone for that matter. I went to Sunday School and learnt that God loves us all and that He cares for you. I understood that love to a point as a child, but I didn't understand that if God loved me why did He make me like this? Is it because I did something wrong? I thought I must have because out of all the kids at school, I'm the only weird one. I felt like I was a burden to those around me and the sooner I go, the better it'd be for everyone. I wanted to end my pain and end my life at a young age, but I am thankful once again, for my parents and family who were always there to comfort me and give me strength. Due to my emotional struggles I had experienced with bullying, self esteem and loneliness, God has implanted a passion of sharing my story and experiences to help others cope with whatever challenge they have in their life and let God turn it into a blessing. To encourage and inspire others to live to their fullest potential and not let anything get in the way of accomplishing their hopes and dreams.
As I grew older God continued to prepare my heart and teach me to seek Him. One of the first lessons that I have learnt was not to take things for granted. I had that wake up call around the age of twelve and realised just how much I was blessed with. I take my foot for granted, my family and all blessings that God had freely given and I still complain? I came across;
Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the best for those who love Him."
That verse spoke to my heart and convicted me to the point where that I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these "bad" things happen in our life. In;
James 1:3&4 - "...know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless He has a good purpose for it all. I completely gave my life to Christ at the age of fifteen after reading John 9. Jesus said that the reason the man was born blind was "so that the works of God may be revealed through Him." I truly believed that God would heal me so I could be a great testimony of His Awesome Power. Later on I was given the wisdom to understand that if we pray for something, if it's God's will, it'll happen in His time. If it's not God's will for it to happen, then I know that He has something better. I now see that Glory revealed as He is using me just the way I am and in ways others can't be used.
I am now twenty-one years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector. For more information on Nick's presentations go to "Nick's Ministry".
In recent years, I have learnt to become independent and can now take care of all my personal needs. I can do everything from brushing my teeth, combing my hair, dressing up, taking care of my personal hygiene and even shaving. I get around the house by jumpin' around and, outside the house, I get around in an electric wheelchair. I love to swim, fish and play soccer. I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.
I have many dreams and goals that I have set to achieve in my life. I want to become the best witness I can be of God's Love and Hope, to become an international inspirational speaker and be used as a vessel in both Christian and non-Christian venues. I want to become financially independent by the age of 25, through real estate investments, to modify a car for me to drive and to be interviewed and share my story on the "Oprah Winfrey Show"! Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year. It will be called "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!"
You might think these goals are too far-fetched. However, I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a "box". The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything without Him. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
God has a Great Purpose for your life! As far as your unanswered prayers, remember that God is Faithful. What are we to do when we are seeking but not finding?
Jeremiah 29:12 - "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord...
Take courage my friend for the Battle is the Lord's and I urge you to keep striving for the truth. For it is the truth that will set you free and the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding will reign in your heart. May the Lord Bless you as you diligently seek Him and grant you Godly Wisdom and Strength through your journey.
If you know of an audience which may benefit from hearing Nick's story please contact us at lifewithoutlimbs@yahoo.com - Have a look and see if Nick is speaking in your local area!
In Christ, Nick Vujicic

Sleeping day 16/3/06

My sleeping day, come back from work then accidently fall sleep at 11.00 , I really very tired.. only wake up and drag my body to wash my cloths and prepare to go out at 5pm, called up Kai and Winnie, apologise that overslept and gonna buy something urgent ... so might not make it at 6 plus and 7 practise... haiz.. things must always prepared and not last minute.. but I always like to find way out in last minute.. bad habbit huh...

I took a cab to church again, the taxi uncle very kind enough to let me have dinner in his cab... in his coversation I was heard that he is earning money and do not have money to have his dinner, actually he told by his son that he will not support by his university graduate son in future when he is old... wat kind of ppl like this.. and I shocked to know he is ====
huh, sad to knoe.. wat is the different C and C , uncle sure very upset because He think C will be good but end up like tis...
But one thing I want to clarify is his son is not really obedient and is a backslider

nite time , able to dance well together... i found the joy, kai and winnie is good... Eveyone , Jen and yentend are very happy see our effort of practising, enthusiastic groups .. thanks God for this , I get my confident and joy from here..

yenteng send me home, try to book the day on 30/July for dance and this coming weekend for bible study

15/5/06 LAZY

Last nite.. same ICA... well whole night keep o diluting drugs but not as bad as yesterday , the pump is keep on alarming, and wasted a lot of time with the pump

can count, altogether I opened 100 plus vials yesterday, can be expert in breaking vials ready
, full house...

worked with Annama, she can't stand me I dun talk when I am busy working, because I was easily distracted... She sure feel very bored..
been very tired mentally and physically tired .. and found out actually I am LAZY huh... firstly dun feel like admit it but partially is true..

Gonna change ya

13/4/07 sunday nite

I dun like to do nite, when ppl sleeping, still gonna struggling to be alert and open eyes big big and stuggle with the mood of sleeping...

hey , my transportation fees over again... can't help to take cab, but I'm really too tired... now I understand u are really tired that time when I sitting beside u in the bus for long journey.... sorry for not understanding at that time

full house and I suddenly switched assignment to ICA..Reason_vP, first time doing night in ICA... gonna be busy too.. that day admit one case head Injury.. labetalol , I dilute so many times ..GTN.. sick of it liao...
'
busy till the next day morning stay back collect property... snm saw me , I said somethings unsettled, she said too slow ask me faster to go back when things settled....
'
learnt a lesson again...

13/5/06 first nite ~God is great !

Practise dance with Winnie, her passion touch me, she pray for me for wat I worry ( work wif)

doing nite , at 8/1 and 8/2, when I reach see the door opened , light up, empty bed... heard one case will be come in... oh... first mind , gonna be busy huh...

when I start to get worry and thinking during hand over time will be busy ..but God is great .. God know my worry... the pt came in middle of time before the evening staff go back and night staff come in.. more manpower.. and help each other.. special thanks to Reneey and AhLuan


that night I thanks God for answering my prayer, that night was peaceful and I was treated very good, and God will transform and change a person... I witness in my own eye example of L and C...God is a great listener

God is great!!!

RD_ rest day

Finally I can rest..

Meet up with Qi Pei, discuss my options with her, chat at mos burger, yummy

Friday, doing housechores, then pay my visit to my aunts in Salon.. happy to see them, facial done by my beautiful cousin, we have dinner together..

meet with Qi Pei again but is quite late ready..
Called up Siew Hui, but lately she is busy working, hopefully can meet her soon and give her something :)

then go home and rest and watch"Chun Xiang"

11/5/06 evening

Again I was place in ICA... again thanks God I have the same helpers with me..
Gem, I dun think I can cope if I need to do so many things in time... I really need help.. that is my limitation ready.. Dilute drugs, changes, hourly assessment ++++

I think my health is not very good , no stamina, no strength, I think because too long din do excercise since NAFA test over.... the ony exercise I like to do is swimming , cycling, but always no chance.. this time is having slight back ache due to the mattress that so thin...never sleep on thin mattress.. sometimes I wonder those Japanese and Korean why not feel backache since they all sleep on the floor.. mayb their bone is "special"... haha..

That day I also not too late to go home, thanks for them...hope to meet them up oneday when they are all my senior again after graduate..

Nantha ask me and encourage me to go further study advance dip and so...
I also wish to further study but there are worries, wat I can do is let the Lord lead to show me my path...

reflect back after my form five five years ago,
I also pray about it.. N or D? Thanks God for preparing N for me .. I know is tough, really tough... a lot of challenges and hardwork...I experience a lot of tears and shoots too... but I am proud of wat I am and the profession... I know and treat it as a learning and training point of my life.... because I was in comfort zone... my parents are very doting me and I never understand wat is hardship until I step into working life to learn own a living, how u use ur physical strength and ability and sweat to earn money and save money ... to train a person like me is not easy, yes I am sturbborn, but now I am not so stubborn, yes , more receptive and more alert, as Jen said and realise

N is wat I wish to do something to help and care and I can finish study and earn a living from there.. and is one of purpose of life.. Hopefully wat I learn and train will not be wasted, to fulfilled one of the purpose

Thanks God from guiding me through, without God , mayb I am study at somewhere else and not in Singapore and perphaps I will miss goodfriends and special one in life, every decision hopefully is doing God's way and in God's will... being obedient is not easy for a stubborn ppl like me... but God know how to

the next lap...still praying for it... decision really not easy.. but one thing I sure I wanna focus in dance ministry

Replacement day 10/5/06

10/5/06 wed, yesterday I was so excited to have a short break... watch my favourite TV drama series,my little bride till 2-3am.. well feel good...then zzzzz

but when I was lying at the sofa and try to pick up phone which wake me up around 9 am...
was imfromed that 2 ppl taken MC so need some replacement... today I am off definately I will be called back to work... Okaylor I said.. wat a disappointment I felt...

drag my body but my mood still denial state..." hello, working time, wake up, wake up"
reach there, see assignment ICA... ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.. day will be very busy in ICA

But thanks God I have three advance Dip student ( can called my senior) help me., Hezelin who humble and kind..never proud and understanding, the other two yvone and? haiz...upset I lost the paper with their contact no... sob sob....they are great..happy working with them... they are steady , firm , and cool ppl... hope one day will meet them again as they are from other place..wow... without them I will collapse in ICA... See , God know my strength, God know my need, God will definately send guardian angle around watch and protect

You are those who have stood by me in my trials.Luke 22:27-29

6/1 that time I pass to Lina, he actually condition not very good , may need intubation or futher observation, then we send him to ICu around 9... and 6/4 was talking talking talking throughout the night.............................................

Proverbs 15

Proverbs 15 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Proverbs 15
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
3 The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.
4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
5 A fool spurns his father's discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.
6 The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings them trouble.
7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.
8 The LORD detests the sacrifice of the wicked, but the prayer of the upright pleases him.
9 The LORD detests the way of the wicked but he loves those who pursue righteousness.
10 Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die.
11 Death and Destruction [a] lie open before the LORD— how much more the hearts of men!
12 A mocker resents correction; he will not consult the wise.
13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
14 The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.
15 All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.
16 Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil.
17 Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.
18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.
19 The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.
20 A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.
21 Folly delights a man who lacks judgment, but a man of understanding keeps a straight course.
22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!
24 The path of life leads upward for the wise to keep him from going down to the grave. [b]
25 The LORD tears down the proud man's house but he keeps the widow's boundaries intact.
26 The LORD detests the thoughts of the wicked, but those of the pure are pleasing to him.
27 A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live.
28 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
29 The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous.
30 A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.
31 He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.
32 He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
33 The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, [c] and humility comes before honor.
Footnotes:
Proverbs 15:11 Hebrew Sheol and Abaddon
Proverbs 15:24 Hebrew Sheol
Proverbs 15:33 Or Wisdom teaches the fear of the LORD

9/5/06 Tuesday

today work morning 2,3 is busy.. many stuff... but thanks God for the students... many of them... I feel so guilty that I cannot guide them alongbecause there are many things they unfamiliar, not much time to give many explanation... but thanks thanks to Ming Wai, she helped me a lot... then I can go home on time...

Having terrible back pain since yesterday.. the positioning not very good and I am tall , feel a bit worry as I am young, dunno really can walk or not.. but thanks God managed to survive the whole day

Raining very heavily, I ate at Chinatown "tian ji rice", a salesgirl want to sell me perfume, I rejected to smell, becos I read the msg that cousin give me.. thank you !!!!!!!me and Winnie met up for dance practise... we went to choir room... thanks God I can dance without feeling the pain..

Jen choose the big red fan that I bought , I feel surprise because is so red.. but she said is God's covered our sin with his blood, yeah... amazing.. I like the dance.. I wanna dance the rest of days...although the road is tough as no background at all, but God send ppl to motivate me to carry on... God let me see the passion an determination of ppl like Winnie... God send ppl to encourage me... this is my destination, and this is a place for me to explore..

8/5/06 work evening

work evening rm 4,5 , see 5 so well, abit satisfaction felt... watch the movie.. dozz off at 1, 2am.. I cannot really straight away just sleep like that... feel like doing something before I sleep .. so always stay up late... not good for skin

7/5/06 Sunday

work morning, I went to church at 5pm.. I really like the choir .... then searching for stuff to buy a new swimming costume.. but can't find a nice one.. and already so late so abort my idea, then in the end bought a drama series sassy classmate to watch.. back home Sy Hoi, Chg Kai and Beng Keong sharing there experiences in doing presentation, browsing web to look for the info..

yar... the holy communion, actually I standing at the back... just like to be unnoticeable, but usher asked me to go in front... I standing in front... then I feel that actually I am so precious and blessed in God's eye... God want me to draw near to him.. God love me

Saturday 6/5/06

today saturday, me3, 4 ,5, hui wen 1 and 2, zhili our great assistant, three of us in GW really rock the place ...Thanks God manage to survive and go back home on time..

I can't really let my mind free, because I will think of ....I know now is the toughest time but iwill feel better next time...

recently eat alot... increase weight ready... alert alarm activated!!!!!!!!!!!!! no no no ... but I still fill hungry, if I dun eat no energy to work but found that eat too many meal... intake= output, must exercise more.... can't wait to go swimming

talk to Peter, wow.. life is also as challenging as us... so dun think u are only face the "war" ... very happy that he is well now compared to last time..things changed huh... when I see my old friends how they transform , and see their changes in life.....

Yeah, one thing is everything will changed but God is always there

Tuesday , jia you

Today wat I learnt from "broken heart " mean total dependent in God 's will and doing God's way... broken heart is not pointing crushed when bad circumstances is meants obedience

make it to sand or stone, all is your choice...



I do miss him alot alot really a lot ,...I seldom say because of my pride last time.. both of us really have pride, da nan ren, da nu ren.....well is a real regonition of true feeling of inner self,
The problem is I cannot miss him anymore, I cannot love him anymore ..I really struggled a lot a many many times because we believe and treat things different way....unless wat we believe and our direction are the same... Just let God lead...I feel that these challenges are brought him near to God and God want to speak to him.. pls keep in the heart

Although sometimes I feel he doesn't need me anymore as he already has somebody can talk to... at least now he had buddies... at least he really did love again after the bad fall that I know when I know him....Thinking back he is shy and hate camera I still remembered the time...he really hate shooting picture I still dunno why......but now he indeed changed a lot...some people will make changes in ones life but too bad I am not the one....he is not so introvert and he is really more hot cake since last time till now..

For me, He is my first .. it takes me from almost four years.. I still unable to get over him... I told myself before I gonna treat him my very best as he is the first and only one.. sad to say I unable to brighten his day although I am beside, he din feel any changes in life .. is it I unable to communicate with him? I dun think he is happy that time.......for me knowing him is just like a story ,I never think I will met him............ I really feel very lousy inside and useless and when times go by the fear might lost him is same with the sweet feeling that I feel for having him .. I am wrong, the boundaries and barrier felt and seen as there is a wall between us as our direction of wat our belief separate us... The answer is, I only can have one devotion( this is wat I learnt after I reflect so many times ) and we only can be together if we are walking at the same road

"If I come in when you are exhausted and feel weak, is not fair for you ...When one day when u regain ur strength, ur confident , when u again notice u actually surrounded by so many good cute and lovely girls all the times , do u still need me? Mayb that time u will realise u made a wrong choice. Is really a correct decision that I've made four years?
Yar, I really wish to stay beside you but If everything can start anew,I really hope I can become a friend standby you that bring the laughter and joy to you ."


I really think a lot this while.. is not easy

verse Today

Romans 6:15-23 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Slaves to Righteousness 15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.

today my not labour day

today is labour day, drag my feet to work, on the way, seen " Milo" envy he can go back... so good... in-charge 2 and 3

been very busy because got one transferup( that one a bit like church member when I see his family like sok theng's friends) , help reeney with Chest tube insertion, Hmmm........ first time...
Found dc from CT a bit like my cousin Ah Gong.. haha.. should take a picture and show it to him...learnt the special set, prolene 2.0 mersilk 2.0 needed... chlorhexidine, prodine, cimedine, extra gauzes, chest tube set, suction bottle, tubings, lignocaine x4 at least , needle , sringe, chest tube, gown many dressing towel, few yellow shealth.. blade.... prepare the pressure bandage, cut it into 3 cuts



Today managed to finished in time..finally can help reeney, because she always help me... I feel at least a bit useful in me... Hooray !!but stay back for the TTx exercise preparation... xian...

tomorrow for the wat TTx excercise..